Haven’t you learned yet from your other friend Jason that the exact opposite is what’s True? For, indeed, though the satisfaction of consumerism may be only ephemeral, the quest to attain niftier forms of gadgetry is unending and noble, and presents Purpose in this world.

Have you not gazed up the Most Sacred Fry’s Electronics Ad in the LA Times, and seen the guidance it provides? Is your heart so unmoved when reading Richard Thalheimer’s “Founder’s Letter” in the Sharper Image catalog? Is not your body at rest when it finds itself reclining, once more, in the Brookstone massage chair at your local mall? How can your soul so easily deny the pleasing heft of the 60 GB video iPod in one’s own hands, or the satisfying shutter-click on a digital SLR?

Heathen!