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Come Enjoy Our Delicious Rudeness

Remember the Soup Nazi from Seinfeld? Well, he’s a real guy named Al Yeganeh, and his original soup shop is a real place in New York City. Al has always despised the “Soup Nazi” moniker. He is, however, quite enterprising. In the past year, he has opened over a dozen stores under the brand “The Original SoupMan”, with plans to open a few dozen more this year. Soup ~~Nazi~~ Man also has his packaged soups on grocery store shelves in fourteen states.

Soup Nazi’s penchant for Rules with a capital R is no myth (Move to the left! Have your money ready! No talking!), as one of his new business partners attests: “Al is obviously temperamental…”. Boy, I guess that soup is better than crack, if people keep going back despite the rude service. Or maybe it’s got crack in it. Someone should remind Yeganehnehnehneh that his soup is only “World Renowned” because Nazi joke-totin’ Seinfeld made it so.

Here are a few other very well-known places I have been to or heard about, where the service is famously rude and the food sometimes good.

House of Nanking, San Francisco. This Chinese restaurant is in every San Francisco guide book I’ve ever read. The line is always out the door, populated mainly by tourists patiently waiting for a bit of Nanking magic. It’s a tiny place (hence the line) with old tables and chairs, and the food is served on industrial-style metal plates. I went there once, to see what all the fuss is about.

Waiter: You! Order now!

Jack: OK…I’d like the kung pao chick…

Waiter: [shakes head, cuts me off] BOO HOW!!! [" NO GOOD!" in Chinese] You won shicken! I bling you shicken!!!

He then proceeds to jot down an order for some random chicken dish I didn’t want. O well. The food’s too sweet anyway, so I’ll leave it for the tourists.

One day I will be brave enough to shake my head and wag my finger at the waiter while he’s shaking his own head at me, yelling “BOO HOW!”. Do you think this will enrage him even more?

Wong Kei, London. Like Nanking, this London landmark is notorious for rude service (I am beginning to see a pattern here: What’s up with the rude waiters at Chinese restaurants?). The waiters at Wong Kei rush you to order quickly, throw your food on the table, and shove the bill down your throat so they can clear your table for the next customer. They’ve even been known to spit on the floor in plain view. Gross.

This one I will not mess with. You never mess with a spitting waiter unless it’s after your food is served and you never intend to go back.

Many people swear by Wong Kei, though: It’s good food at a good price, and the place is huge. I prefer Mandarin Kitchen across the street from the Queensway Tube stop. Better food in my opinion, and no sightings of spitting waiters.

Sushi Nozawa, Studio City. This Los Angeles area sushi place often has a line halfway down the block, and many consider it to be the best sushi place in Southern California. Like his soup-ladling counterpart, though, Master Nozawa is jokingly referred to as “The Sushi Nazi”.

If you manage to score a table, do not order a California roll. If the chef suggests something to you, do not say no and order something else. Do not order too much of the daily specials- they need to be rationed out sparingly to all the regulars. Any of these infractions are liable to get you politely excused. At Sushi Nozawa, your meal can sometimes be over before you think it’s over.

One of these days someone with a shaky hand should cut up some blowfish and force feed it to El Maestro until he agrees to make a California roll. (El Maestro- If you are reading this, I’m just kidding. Please please please don’t cut me off. My real name is not Jack anyway. It’s Pooky.)

I wonder why these places are so popular. For some, I guess it’s the quality of the food. But at Nanking, for example, the food isn’t even very good. Perhaps it’s the entertainment value of the rude service that keeps people coming back. Because it’s all fun and games until a waiter spits in your dinner.

tags :: humor : rude service : restaurants : Soup Nazi : Wong Kei : Nanking : Nozawa

44 Comments so far
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and that’s why I stick with In and Out Burger

Rude service is basically SM food style. You know you like it.

My friends and I are always saying that House of Nanking is highly overrated. The best rude service Chinese in SF is Sam Wo’s if you ask me. Open til 3 a.m., they are known for sometimes letting you BYOB. There are signs at the table explaining how to order your food and basically saying that if the food comes any way that you do not want it, then it’s your fault. They are also known for clearing your table if they have a line. Doesn’t matter if you haven’t finished eating yet.

That’s part of the appeal of going there.

I’ve never been to or heard of any of these places. Guess that’s what happens when you live on the arse-end of the world…

Ewww spitting.
Ew.
Ew.
Ew.
Ew.

Ew, spitting! Ew ew ew ew ew!!

I’m totally LOL over the whole post, but it does remind me of Ed Debevic’s where the schtick is that the waitress insults you. If you ever get to Chicago, you might like it. Don’t take kids, cuz they aren’t nearly as rude to you if you have a child with you. Mmmm In-and-Out Burger – the name totally gets me horned up, LOL! (uh oh, a Raunchy mommy!)

I can’t think of a smartass comment – it’s 5:59AM- so think of your own smart comment and imagine I said it.

This is the first thing I read since logging on this morning. Made me LOL. Thanks for brightening my day, albeit in a rather gross manner

These people are gluttons for punishment!

This is hilarious. YOu are well versed and widely apprised of cantankerous cooks around the world! I always get Cal. rolls at sushi places and I always think I’m getting the fuzzy eyeball from the waiter, et. al. Now I know, I’m prob. right.

I’d prefer to have rude – but quick – service than to have a pretentious waiter crapping on about the wine list for 45 minutes.

Also they can take their ‘jus’, and squirt it up their ass.

end rant.

A lot of that reminds me of dinners at home as a kid.

We had a great experience at House of Nanking when we were doing the San Francisco tourist thing. Hardly anybody was there that day, the waiters were very helpful and nice and the food was delicious.

They have the best Mu Shu on the West Coast. I try it at every chinese restaurant just for comparisons sake and I have yet to find a contender. My mouth is watering just thinking about it.

Cruisin-Mom: The only thing SoCal and NoCal folks can agree on I think is that In-n-Out is awesome.

Eileen: Yes I know I do. I like to lick the plate but I only get to if I’m a good boy.

Dagny: O nice I have to try this place. They even have instructions to forewarn you of any pending rude treatment. That rocks.

Karen Little: Funny, I thought I lived in the arse-end. I guess this means I live in the armpit of the world.

Michele: Yes, spitting. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes.

Candace: Hhahaa In-n-Out. Very popular place in California. Very fresh ingredients and good value.

SJ: I’m thinking you woke up at 6am but not imagining you said anything clever.

Fresh Ink: Yes, gross is really only one way to brighten someone’s day.

ChickyBabe: Or just plain gluttons.

Kathie: Yes I think sushi purists rue the day that California rolls were invented. Let alone all the other rolls in LA sushi joints named after actors and landmarks.

Gav: They’d need a big bottle of Imodium to do that with the jus. Maybe they can do something with yogurt and a lot of rapid rubbing.

JustRun: Hahahah that’s funny. When I was a kid I ate in front of the TV and everyone left me alone.

Brandon: Yeah, a lot of people seem to really like that place. Even one of my Chinese friends does (most of my other Chinese friends don’t though…they find it too sweet like I do). I’ll try to mu shu there next time I’m in SF as per your rec.

At scholl, we had an IN vendor who use his plastic sandals to hold the frying pan. The day I saw that I got sick. I kept visualising the frites I bought there deep frying with the sandals. yuck yuck yuck! And the man was as rude a sthey come (that expression right?)
I went to eat briyani with a friend not long ago. She went on about how the briyani was great there. We went in. Its called “Le Calife”. We ordered and were served promptly. Then the guy in charge kept on coming over to check if we were done. I was so mad I lost my appetite. Why? because the briyani is sooo good people actually queue to have a table at which they don’t stay long before they’re asked whether they’re done eating or not.
if I ever come to the US, you take me to that Soup Man’s restaurant and I’ll fix them right.

FitÃ¨na

Wow, this place has changed a lot!

Oooppps! I think I have confused you with another blogger. Sorry!! Will out you on my RSS feed x

I mentioned Wong Kei a couple days ago in someone else’s blog. I hadn’t even thought of the place in 5 years before then. B-zarre! You go to say you have been harrassed by staff there.

Eeewww…spitting???? That’s just nasty. So do you get to spit on the check when they do that?

Do people ever get their asses kicked? Because I believe that… yes, I would have to kick someone’s ass.

Perhaps the fact the the Soup Nazi is so rude is delightful. You know, like when you barter at the market. The idea that it’s dangerous. I mean, if he’s anything like he was portrayed on Seinfeld, and that temperamental, then he probably would turn you out the door if you looked at him wrong. Some people like that feeling of danger. Will I get to eat today? Won’t I?

I mean, it’s that whole… “if it’s worth having, it must be difficult to obtain” mentality. Value and all that. For instance, if Manolos weren’t as expensive as they are, would they be as exclusive? Prolly not.

Just my 2 cents. (And yes, okay, that’s in Canadian currency.)

Its like everyone wants angry sex til it gets too violent

I like that last comment. Oh, to be a West Coaster–I haven’t seen anything like that out here, but I will do some prowling around Manhattan soon.

i love sushi nozawa! i’ve never had rude service there even sitting at the bar. usually i eat omakase but even before that no dish in particular was ever force-suggested. definitely one of the freshest sushi/sashimi i’ve had in LA. try it out and why order california roll when you can get quality sushi?

Reminds me of “Dicks Last Resort”, it is a chain. When you finally get a seat they put “dunce” hats on you with sayings like “He makes sheep nervous” or “Girly man”, they also yell for you to get out and throw food on your table.

Wow, I’ve lived in SF and London, and not been to either of the places you mentioned. Of course, based on your description, maybe that’s for the best….

FitÃ¨na: Yeah someone using his shoe as a cooking utensil I think falls under the “unsanitary” category and I would not eat there. Sometimes when I am travelling (especially through Asia) and we stop by a roadside eatery, I always check the bathroom first. If there’s no soap in there (about 1/4 of the time, believe it or not, there is no soap in the bathroom), I walk out immediately. Because the food may be cheap at that place, but the hepatitis is free.

Missy: Hahahah yes I know originally this blog was all about my fabulous life as a swinging 20 something blond in NYC, a chronicle of my run ins with hot guys, bad lipstick and lots and lots of vodka martinis.

Russell Allen: Yeah you can never escape Wong Kei for long. I have definitely been harrassed there. I wonder if they sell a t-shirt to declare that.

Angie: Problem is I may go back one day (you never know), so I am afraid to spit in there.

Rene Merced Jr: I get my ass kicked all the time. I’m a lover not a fighter.

Therese: What are Manolos and why are they expensive? Just kidding. I know what they are. Aren’t they what OJ wore when he killed Nicole?

Steve Awesome: Not me. I want sex any way I can get it, angry or not. (note to wife: *hint* *hint* *wink* *wink* *yank* *yank*).

Enemy of the Republic: Soup Nazi! He’s in Manhattan!!!

Yoony: Yes, you are not in the minority. Most of my friends consider dining at Nozawa to be a religious experience. Penance and all.

Awe: Wow that Dicks place is taking it to the extreme, with props and everything. Sounds like my kind of place. I am, after all, a girly man who makes sheep nervous.

Kimananda: No way! Everyone in SF has been to Nanking once!!! (usually just once though). And Wong Kei- you must go there next time just so you can partake of the insulting experience! This is the kind of stuff that unites humanity!!!

Yes. Yes, exactly. Manolos are what OJ wore when he killed Nicole. In most cultures, Manolos are dangerous.

I have never been to Nanking. I wanted to but then my friends explained that it is one of those places best left to the tourists, like Fisherman’s Wharf and Pier 39.

I never much cared for Seinfeld but I’ve ALWAYS loved soup, so I’ve gotten the “Did you ever see the Soup Nazi?” question a zillion times in my life. Never went there but I did go to Daily Soup in NYC. I seriously would have no money if I lived or worked there.

It’s like trying to get into a hip club. People seem to like being treated rudely. You should try to be more rude to us on this blog.

Therese: Hmmm…Rude waiters -> Women who like Manolos -> Men who wear Manolos -> Men who murder their wives. I always thought there was a connection.
Dagny: Yeah, I know a lot of people like Nanking, but I think the food is just so-so there. It all depends on your individual taste in Chinese food anyway.

Janet: Aren’t you in NJ? There are Original SoupMan branches in Princeton and Ridgewood, and another opening in Freehold! Any of them nearby? Then you could tell people you ate at the Soup Nazi’s satellite store!!!

Neil: I wouldn’t know about the hip clubs because I’m too ugly to be let in so I don’t even try. But with all my caustic rants, I think I’ve rudely insulted every group and demographic by now on SuckyBlog!

I wouldn’t eat at those places, but I’d give anything to sit outside of them and hunt celebrities, lol.

I think there are very strong s+m tendancies going on here, it’s all about the struggle for power, I’m sure if you trussed him up like a chicken in some dark alley, he’d cry like a baby
rachh

ABlondeBlogger: These places are very not glammed up. Based on what I know about where celebs hang out, I don’t think they would patronize these places. After all, famous people don’t like spit in their food either.

RachH: Yes, I think you ought to dress up in tight patent leather and do that to him, then show us the pictures.

Good point! If you ever run into one somewhere else, will you get an autograph for me?

ABlondeBlogger: Boy, if you like celebs that much, just move to LA! They’re everywhere here! But we don’t ask for autographs- it’s very gauche to do so around here if you’re a native.

*nods* I knew I could count on you to draw clear and rational correlations.

ThÃ©rÃ¨se: I must admit I had help making the connection. My friend OJ said that he had a rude waiter once, which domino’d into a pair of murders. This is all alleged of course, since OJ was found not guilty. I guess the rude waiter defense works well in murder cases.

Persian Aub Zaum Zaum Room in the Haight was home to the most viciously rude bartender in the city. He was a really unpleasant mean-spirited man who kicked people out for ordering two Budweisers in a row. If you ordered top shelf for mixed drinks, he’d yell at you. If you sat at a table, he’d yell at you. If you laughed out loud, he’d 86 you in a heartbeat. It was a very quiet bar.

Greg: DUDE, I never even went there and I lived in the Bay Area for a long time. I blame it all on my damn yuppy friends, who didn’t hang out in the Haight. Not because I was scared to go there or anything…I just didn’t feel comfortable dealing with multi-color hair people without other J. Crew wearing folks.

Jackt — Well, you’re a damn sissy. Actually, he fucking seethed at what the Haight had become. Like old man shaking fist action. It was fun to watch him go off, until he started ranting about Brown vs Board of Education being the downfall of the US. I stopped going after that. He died soon after. Lebanese-American chappie.

Check it: am linking to your blog.

Greg: Boy o boy I definitely do not deny being a sissy. Although I am a bit disturbed that someone can deduce that without having met me!

I woulda liked to have met that guy once just to say I have. Even at the risk of losing a few teeth. Then at least I’d be able to tell stories about it.

The Soup Nazi guy isn’t always so rude. I had gone to him for some time. He only really inforced the rules during the lunch rush from 11:00 to 2:00. If you showed up later when he could breath a little he was actually pretty nice. Guess the pressure of cooking all morning and the long lines got to him. But there was a reason for the lines. The soup “will make your knees week”. I’m not in NY anymore but tried the place in Princeton… Seems to be the same, delicious. And they looked stressed at the lunch rush too, albiet they were nicer than the Nazi.

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I'm not particularly deep, clever, or knowledgeable. I'm also a pretty boring writer.

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