The World’s Best Jobs

pg.gifPublications like BusinessWeek and Fortune often come up with lists of best companies to work for. P&G, Genentech, whatever. Screw ‘em. They don’t know what they’re talking about.

These are the best jobs to have:

Saab Designer
saab.jpgDesign a new car every nine years. Spend the rest of the time fielding a company soccer team to play fellow Swedish car maker Volvo’s company team. Winner gets to make the world’s ugliest car. Loser gets to make the world’s boxiest car.

Comic Strip Writer
Every day you submit three little hand-drawn cells, which get read by millions of people. (shock). (gasp). Like, “Hey, I’m so tired from spending two hours thinking up one joke. And theeeEENN (roll eyes) I had to spend another ten minutes drawing up the three cells. O Gaaawwd I’m gonna take a break and go for a Double-Sized Frappuccino while Ernesto here colors the cells.”

Dude, you can finish all the strips for the entire month in a week and spend the rest of the month in Hawaii. Not a bad gig.

Take a look at my friend Phil‘s work. He’s got a few different series, the most popular being Skinny Panda. All of his stuff is hilarious. BUT: One of his series is a bunch of STICK FIGURES! What the Pho? Stick. Figures. In black and white. He doesn’t even draw little bubbles for the dialog!

skinnypanda.jpg

Whoa. *wipes brow*. That was hard work, coming up with this blog post. Being a blogger is definitely not one of the best jobs to have. Actually, that’s not true. Being a blogger is not a job at all. Cuz it ain’t a job if it don’t pay.

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35 Comments so far
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lol! I noticed the lack of “bubbles” too! ;-)
Does he actually get paid for that?

Fitèna
PS: BTW, do i get anything for making first commentor? Of course that’s because everyone is sleeping on your part of the glob but it means nothing. Am still first, so what do i get? *raised eyebrow, crossed arms, waiting* ;-)

I used to want to be a cartoonist – but I can’t draw for shit.

I think I could manage some stick figures though. ;)

But blogging sure feels like a full time job at times!

Sounds like a deadly job.I can’t draw for shit either though but luckily that means i get to spend hours at work on comic strip generators like this one

http://www.igrajmo.se/stripgen/

I wish bloggin paid…what with my umpteen and a half blogs…**sigh**

Ummm… I don’t get it (the strip). I’m sure your friend is very funny though.

So how do we make it a “job”? I really want to know. Job only in the “pay” regard, of course, not in the “dreaded work” sense of it all.

Actually, I think the “master” guy is pretty cute

Blogging IS a rewarding full-time job. Just imagine how much money is actually saved by being glued to a computer – no time to buy that 4th cup of coffee, forgetting to eat even for those who blog about food, and even though food is sometimes forgotten about my a*s still seems to be getting bigger by the post but at least I’m not driving the car as much so money’s saved in gas. :D

I want the cartoonist job. But I like my job, too.

Oh my gosh, wouldn’t it be so awesome if blogging WERE a job that paid? I’d be in Heaven!!

Hmmm, I’d like to a best-selling author. Work on 1 good novel every 5 yrs and live of the royalties and rights when I sell it to Hollywood. Being an author has its other advantage of allowing me to be as eccentric and off-the-wall :-P

If bloggers were paid like it was job about 95% would get fired. Me included.

I would add “mystery shopper,” “personal shopper,” and “Kept woman” to that list, but that may just be me….

I like the comic. Oh, and I like Bre’s additions to the list.

Fitèna Yes Phil has quite a following with Skinny Panda. Don’t forget to tap your feet and furrow your brow. Impatient people tap their feet and furrow their brows.

Gav: Yes exactly. I can’t draw either, but I can draw STICK FIGURES. Well, with a ruler I could.

ChickyBabe: My point exactly. FEELS like one, don’t PAY like one!

AMS: Boy o boy technology is replacing everything these days. I’d better go learn to be a rolfer because I’m too tall to be a jockey.

SJ: Yes and they should pay per blog. If that were the case, we would all be visiting your summer palace.

JustRun: Yeah if you click on the link you can see the whole thing. It’s more funny if you read the whole thing. He’s got a bunch that are hilarious, but like everyone else he has brilliant as well as funny-but-not-brilliant moments. The only person who is consistently brilliant is Michael Jackson the King of Pop.

Kevin: Yes EXACTLY! I need a job that pays a TON and produces NOTHING. Let’s start a company that does that! O wait, Enron tried that and failed.

Cruisin-Mom: Yeah that master guy is cute. I think Phil just stencilled a worn eraser at a funny angle to get that. :)

Catherine: Good thing I have no time to buy that extra coffee, since I have no money for it either. But I do seem to have enough money to stuff my mouth with junk food. But I’m only doing it to join the expanding a** club. ;)

Enemy of the Republic: Yes cartoonist job is the best. But only if you can do all of it in black & white. Coloring is too strenuous for my delicate right hand.

ABlondeBlogger: I think in the fifth level of hell you are literally chained to a desk with with your eyes peeled open staring at a Bloglines account with 8,000 subscriptions to blog written by people who like to post on how many Cheerios they had for breakfast, not counting the ones that did not get fully submerged in milk.

Fresh Ink: Yes I am just a professional eccentric, since I can’t write to save my life. O wait, that doesn’t pay either.

Russell Allen: Hahaha it’s survival of the fittest in the workplace. But since blogging doesn’t pay yet we still spend too much time on it, it’s survival of the [something else].

Bre: OOOHHH. I would also like to add “Jenny McCarthy’s bra”. It’s ok if that job doesn’t pay. I hear kept women have it rough. What with all the drama they create. :)

Dagny: Yes I was thinking of a good addition from a woman’s perspective but I couldn’t really think of any since I’m dense to a woman’s point of view (or so says my wife). I’m glad Bre did!

lol! well I don’t. Am different, you know. Special. *grinning*

Fitèna

Well, better a cartoonist than Saab designer, I’d say. But like everyone else, I like the idea of paid blogger the best…though I guess that would mean coming up with more blog posts?

hey! it’s not THAT easy coming up with fresh and orginial content on demand! or so I’ve been told. :-P haha.

dream jobs, eh? what about bikini waxing of supermodels? haha. I didn’t see that up there! :-P

Fitèna: No, there is no grinning involved while projecting an air of impatience. If no brow furrowing, how about exhaling loudly through your nose and flaring your nostrils. Then people will know you mean business.

Kimananda: Paid bloggers can probably afford to have people come up with posts for them. Even better.

Jeut: Forget the bikini waxing. I’m thinking more like supermodel chest masseuse.

I missed so much here..! Where do you get all these ideas for posts? Yeah, pity blogging doesn’t pay.. maybe I’d be more motivated!

Missy: When I run out of post ideas, I just stop taking my medication and suddenly it’s like a bad post idea bonanza. :)

Can you imagine how many more blogs would be out there if they paid? Good heavens, what a deluge.

I wouldn’t want to pay to read them, though — so there you have it.

Don’t forget food taster. It’s not like you have to eat it if it sucks.

Dude. You totally need to get paid for this. I won’t tell you the size of my paycheck for blogging, but it sure beats that prostitution gig.

Really.

I think if blogging FEELS like a job, you really should quit. It’s meant to be fun is it not?

haha i liked the car designer bit…and are u sure ur in a job only if u get paid??

Michele: Yeah from surfing around the blogosphere (present company excepted, of course!), you’d have to PAY me to read most of the stuff out there!

Janet: Yeah, you do have to eat it. At least take a bite. That’s why food critic and movie critic didn’t make it onto the list!

Mocha: I tried to be a gigolo once but my unsexy body thwarted the plan. :)

Steph: It’s not always fun if you’re merely feeding the addiction like I am. :)

Why Am I: YES, that’s why it’s called WORK and not PLAY! ;)

lol! You’re too much Jackt! Really! Am still waiting tough! :-) Oops :-/ here!

Fitèna

Be a critic! Food critics, get the best food (for free)! Movies, see them first (for free)! Music (free copies first). Not to mention that everyone will suck up to you! My dream one would be travel critic. PLEASE someone pay me to travel, be sucked up to and it would be free so how could you lose?

Fitèna: OK fine. As a reward you get a spot on the Saab company soccer team. Don’t forget though, every nine years you have to sit down and design the world’s ugliest car. But it’s harder than you may think: Designing ugly is an art unto itself.

Jodie: I am such a picky eater, I could not possibly be a food critic. Because I’d have to taste all kinds of things, most of which I wouldn’t like! I do like the sucking up part though.

i feel your pain.. hmm i’m sure i could find a way to make money on a blog… eventually.

Fatty: I have no doubt that you will make money on your blog, since it doesn’t suck like mine!

Best new minimum-effort job of this century:

Standing in a room, spraying fake tan on strangers’ bodies.

Just for the record, I’ve made zero dollars from Skinny Panda so far.

So my dream job would be to be the husband of a hirsute supermodel who owns Saab.



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