The Wonders of Modern Manufacturing

Below are some products that don’t yet exist, or are sold only to select markets in Japan (I am only guessing about Japan, but they seem to have lots of strange stuff that people elsewhere don’t use regularly). But I think these products would be hugely useful, so I am posting them here for the record.

monkeybutt.jpgPerhaps some giant factory in China will find this post, start making these items, and distribute them to U.S. retailers. And then monkeys will fly out of my butt and the Devil will burrow out of the ground because it was too cold in Hell.

Air-Conditioned Blanket
Just the title sounds counter-intuitive, I know. People use blankets to stay warm, not the other way around. BUT- Most people I know enjoy the secure feeling of having a blanket draped over them while they sleep, a remnant of their childhood phobias. But what do you do on those hot summer nights? Cover yourself and sweat to death, or go uncovered and let the monster that surely lurks under your bed gnaw on your feet?

Enter The SuckyBlog Air-Conditioned Blanket. Stay covered up by your protective blankey while the bogeyman peers out from behind your closet door, all the while enjoying the refreshing cool air circulating between you and your sheets. Also saves on energy costs, as you don’t have to cool the whole room on a hot night.

Disposable Underwear
uw.jpgI am sure this item has already been marketed in some specialty stores in Japan or other parts of Asia, but they probably don’t have the materials or marketing right.

Mark my words: This one is going to be huge. Well, yes, my underwear is huge- it needs to fit my ass, after all. But that’s not what I’m talking about. Disposable underwear one day will be huge.

Think paper towels. There was a time (before my time) when they were not a common household item. Disposable contact lenses. Disposable mops (Swiffer). Disposable toilet bowl cleaner (ToiletWand). Bottled water. Even in the early 80s, did you think that people would be buying drinking water in little pre-packaged bottles? Absurd!That’s how we feel today about disposable undies.

But someday soon, some guy in China is gonna figure out a way to manufacture a super inexpensive but resilient paper that feels acceptably like fabric. They’ll first start selling them at airport shops. Then they’ll roll it out in bulk packages at supermarkets and big box retailers everywhere.

Less laundry for all of us. Lighter packing when travelling. And people who leave skid marks know that it’s much less embarrassing to discard the evidence. Soon it’ll be less costly, too. And as to how I know about the skid mark detection evasion strategy- I plead the Fifth so as not to incriminate myself.

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Disposable underwear!!!

Where do I sign up??? No dude…seriously…where…*zeroes in for a choke hold* Where????

If the underwear was made from a paper towel type fabric you could use it as a wipe as well. They could come on a roll by the toilet. One off, new one on

You can get edible underwear 😉

But they are high in calorie!

I am all over the disposable underwear when it comes out. Or would it be more appropriate to say “it will be all over me“?

Great for camping, I’m sure. Take off your drawers and use them as tinder to start the fire. May want to stand back and upwind for a little while after it lights, but at least you’ll have a burning campfire.

As long as they make disposable thongs, I’ll give it a try!

I am pretty sure there are disposable underwear. I worked a while in the medical field and it seems as though there were shorts (boxer type) that they would give some patients to wear and they could be thrown out. I’m not sure though.
All I really know is the material was so scratchy that they’d better not make it in thong form.

This reminds me of that “American Inventor” show. An old lady came on suggesting that there be disposable sheets. They were made of some awful papery material and I think she said they were already used in hospitals or something. (Wait, then weren’t they already invented?? I don’t know.)

Honestly, the air conditioned blanket IS a good idea. I MUST sleep with a blanket over me and I wake up a sweaty mess every morning. (And/or 20 times throughout the night.)

My best friend and I had some amusing business ideas growing up. You’ve given me the fun idea of posting them! I hope she’ll allow me to (ha ha); I don’t think anyone’s going to want to steal them. And if they do, then I wish them all the luck in the world!

I like the blanket idea. I love nothing more than to snuggle under a pile of blankets.

As for the underwear, I would give it my blessing if whoever invents it could come up with a way that it could then be burned for fuel because otherwise we’d just have landfills full of dirty underwear.

I’m all for the air conditioned blanket. My ex and I used to want to create “Stay Cool Sheets” to be used in summer, but I guess that’s why people have satin or silk sheets. (I’m too po’ for silk sheets.) I adore wrapping up in a blanket but it gets me all hot and bothered (in a bad way) during the summer.

I remember edible underwear in my courtship days. When the thrill is gone…no–they itched a lot. But kids need disposible underwear and socks; I’ve turned my house over just for finding one sock and not the other–underwear that both fits and is clean, so market it, Jack, become a rich man, and remember your blog friends while you enjoy the fruits of fame.

I’d go for the air-conditioned blanket…how about a combination electric/air-conditioned blanket…sort of a blanket for all seasons.

I don’t even have a real comment! You just make me laugh :)

You nutter! You’ll be a rich man one day, jackt :)

Not keen on disposable paper underwear! It has to have a soft and sensual feel. Disposable silk?

I bet China doesn’t have a fifth at least not the same one as the US so you can’t use it… or maybe they will come up with disposable amendments that you can use when it suits you and throw when it doesn’t ? Wait we have that already.

I want that blankie, and I want it now.

hey ive seen disposable underwear i stores already out here!!….

“while the bogeyman peers out from behind your closet door, all the while enjoying the refreshing cool air circulating between you and your sheets”…huh!!!why wud i want the bogey man to enjoy the refreshing cool air cuirculating between me and my sheets?!!…like the grudge:P

I wanna blankie. . . so my toes don’t get nibbled off

There’s definitely a market for that blankie… I want one too!!

Best get to inventing, and trademarking!

Reflextion: Yes. We all need it. Bad.

Eileen: That’s an awesome idea. Dispense it on a roll! Gives a whole new meaning to “ass wipe”.

Missy: Those things are a bit scary. Like eating a fruit roll up with special toppings.

Kevin: Yeah I’d like to cook a camp dinner over a roaring fire fueled by my undies! It’d probably taste better!

ABlondeBlogger: You can make your own disposable thong using a strip of toilet paper and some dental floss.

JustRun: Yeah exactly- I figured there was special use disposable underwear, but it can’t go mainstream unless it’s sufficiently comfortable, durable, inexpensive and widely available. Devil’s in the details!

Liberal Banana: Yeah everything these days that use paper to function like fabric are bad because the materials are not right. That’s the real challenge I think. I am looking forward to your childhood business ideas post!

Hope: That is an excellent insight- disposing of them in a responsible manner would also be important.

Megan: Nice. “Stay Cool” sheets and blankies!

Enemy of the Republic: That is a great mystery- how dryers often cause a rift in the universe that transports exactly one sock to another dimension.

Kimananda: O that’s a pretty sweet idea. It could heat up or cool down! But then you’d only sell one item to the masses when you could sell two!!!

Wendy:Thanks. For most people I just make them cry. Or roll their eyes. :)

Mads: Huuhh huh uh huhh uhuhuhh huuhh hey beavith…mads just said “nutter”. huu hh huuh uhh uhhh

ChickyBabe: Yeah exactly. It’s gotta be a fairly soft and usable paper that feels at least as soft as cotton. But made much more cheaply.

SJ: I think they cane skid markers.

Cruisin-MOm: Yeah the blankie. Someone really needs to make that. I hope some big factory in China is reading this.

Why Am I: You secretly long for the bogeyman, who is the manifestation of your subliminal fantasies. That’s what my cross-dressing therapist said.

Nikki: I know. I lost my toes to the monster under my bed when I was eight because I didn’t have my blankie over me.

Stephanie: No I’m not the one to market it. I”m much too lazy to do anything other than play computer.

The blanket sounds great. Even if it is 90 degrees, I still want a blanket.

An air conditioned blanket is a good idea. Just as good as the heated jacket I came up with a few months ago.

You can’t take that away from me. It’s all mine.:)

A/C blankie – Can you make a portable version? Nothing like sitting on a blankie outside to watch fireworks on the 4th when it’s a 1000 degress out. A/C would be nice.

Disposable Undies – I like the idea of selling them on a roll. You could put a dispenser in every business’ bathroom & sell them for a $1.

You’re a genius, Jack! BTW, it’s not a rift in the universe that takes undies/socks…it’s a gnome. C’mon, don’t gnomes look mean enough to steal your undies????

you’ve won a place in my heart with the air-conditioned blanket; i can see the perfect ad now: it’s a mt. everest in your bed! ha!

Only trouble with disposable undies is – what happens when you are about to get down and dirty with significant other or, heaven forbid, new partner, you seductively strip off to reveal black lacy bra, and then big paper undies, with little stain marks, where you have coughed and partially peed yourself and it has absorbed into the paper. Will they make them in black lacy version do you think?

a “giant” factory? Giants are manufactured? wow!

Air conditioned blanket… YES!!! I am one of those… I like the feeling of a blanket, and here in atlanta I ahve to crank the ac up to make it cold enough to need a blanket… Perhaps its not so much an air conditioned blanket as it is a “climate controlled” blanket…

Disposable Underwear – I thought they were disposable??? isnt they why they come six in a pack? A weeks worth with one day commando…

by the way Rachjhall is me, oh and I have not demoted you sweet (U.S. dude), I have put a comment after yours on mine, if you get that, you have inspired my next post.

Even better than making them disposable, why not make them RECYCLABLE? That way they’re not only convenient, but they’re good for the environment, too!

Don’t worry about the fact you’re wearing a mash-up of other people’s pre-worn undies… hmm. Haha.

An airconditioned blankie…I like!!

Dagny: It’s funny how a blanket provides a feeling of security for so many of us, even when we’re all grown up!

Janet: O yes if my A/C Blanket biz ever expands to a heated jacket I will be sure to obtain licensing rights from you first!

Angie: I am scared enough of strange things in my house. That’s why I need the A/C blanket. Thanks for letting me know about gnomes. One more reason I need the A/C blanket.

Darling Nikki: O yes- Mt Everest in your Bed…in moderation of course. Wouldn’t want to save your toes from the monster only to lose them to frostbite!

Rachjhall: They should make them in some sort of dark color I would think. But even if they’re white and worn, if he sees them and stays then he’s a keeper! :)

Doc-T: Where did you think giants come from, if not a factory? I can make one pair of underwear go for five days. I will tell you the secret someday when you can snatch this pebble from my hand.

Rachh: I regularly get demoted it’s no big surprise any longer. 😉

Jeut: Yeah that may be a little gross…clean or not! Perhaps we can use them for fuel instead.

Fresh Ink: I like too!

You just know College/Uni students would manage to get three or four years wear out of disposible undies.

I mean, is this really what we want?

Disposable pankies good, but I like the air conditioned blanket better. It can only pave the way to microwave freezers, in which I can produce ice in a minute.

isn’t disposable underwear the same thing as diapers?

Hmmmm. Any pricing information on the disposable undies?

I just spent $18 on a lace thong that has less material than a Barbie doll’s skirt.

Yes, it’s cute, but, damn, $18?

Gav: That is always the danger with disposable products. Some people seem to think it’s reusable despite the instructions.

Gnightgirl: Oooooo that microwave freezer idea is GENIUS.

Tim: Yes, except it’s not meant to be pooped in.

Edgy Mama: I will never understand the women’s apparel and cosmetics businesses, where oftentimes more money is spent on marketing than manufacturing. But it’d be a much blander world without lace thongs.

My mother-in-law already gets disposable underwear for when she travels. It’s made from some material along the line of a coffee filter. My father-in-law refuses to ever wear the stuff again. He actually went undie shopping in the middle of Delft because they were so bad. But the MIL still gets it everytime she travels. Then again, she’s a hardcore Calvinist, so maybe she feels the discomfort is a good punishment for the enjoyment she gets out of traveling.

Mom of All Seasons: Yeah they really need to make it out of a softer material that doesn’t fall apart. I guess scratchy undies beats self flagellation.

I’d be all over that a/c blanket! I’ve used disposable undies (they give em to you at the hosp when you give birth) and they’re pretty comfy, LOL!

Candace is a Geek: I’d like to try disposable underwear, but hopefully I can get them without having to give birth.

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