Below are some products that don’t yet exist, or are sold only to select markets in Japan (I am only guessing about Japan, but they seem to have lots of strange stuff that people elsewhere don’t use regularly). But I think these products would be hugely useful, so I am posting them here for the record.
Perhaps some giant factory in China will find this post, start making these items, and distribute them to U.S. retailers. And then monkeys will fly out of my butt and the Devil will burrow out of the ground because it was too cold in Hell.
Just the title sounds counter-intuitive, I know. People use blankets to stay warm, not the other way around. BUT- Most people I know enjoy the secure feeling of having a blanket draped over them while they sleep, a remnant of their childhood phobias. But what do you do on those hot summer nights? Cover yourself and sweat to death, or go uncovered and let the monster that surely lurks under your bed gnaw on your feet?
Enter The SuckyBlog Air-Conditioned Blanket. Stay covered up by your protective blankey while the bogeyman peers out from behind your closet door, all the while enjoying the refreshing cool air circulating between you and your sheets. Also saves on energy costs, as you don’t have to cool the whole room on a hot night.
I am sure this item has already been marketed in some specialty stores in Japan or other parts of Asia, but they probably don’t have the materials or marketing right.
Mark my words: This one is going to be huge. Well, yes, my underwear is huge- it needs to fit my ass, after all. But that’s not what I’m talking about. Disposable underwear one day will be huge.
Think paper towels. There was a time (before my time) when they were not a common household item. Disposable contact lenses. Disposable mops (Swiffer). Disposable toilet bowl cleaner (ToiletWand). Bottled water. Even in the early 80s, did you think that people would be buying drinking water in little pre-packaged bottles? Absurd!That’s how we feel today about disposable undies.
But someday soon, some guy in China is gonna figure out a way to manufacture a super inexpensive but resilient paper that feels acceptably like fabric. They’ll first start selling them at airport shops. Then they’ll roll it out in bulk packages at supermarkets and big box retailers everywhere.
Less laundry for all of us. Lighter packing when travelling. And people who leave skid marks know that it’s much less embarrassing to discard the evidence. Soon it’ll be less costly, too. And as to how I know about the skid mark detection evasion strategy- I plead the Fifth so as not to incriminate myself.