When I’m checked into a hotel, I like to take home the little mini toiletries they provide. At the nicer places, they usually give you around three bars of soap- one for each sink and one for the shower. I just use the very smallest bar for both the sink and shower so I can leave the big bar and other small bar unused.
Or if they provide a body wash lotion in addition to the soap bars, I’ll use that and keep all three unwrapped bars of soap. I also sometimes don’t use the shampoo. I’ll just wash my hair with the soap or the body wash so I can keep the shampoo bottle brand new.
Every morning, I take all the unused mini toiletries and tuck them away in my bag so that they are not visible to the housekeeping staff. They must wonder how one traveller can go through three bars of soap, a bottle of shampoo, a bottle of lotion, and eight Q-Tips every single day.
Despite the obvious doubts they must have, housekeeping never fails to restock my room every day when they see that all the toiletries are gone. Sometimes, if I’m feeling obnoxious, I’ll ask for more toiletries when they come in for turn down service. And if I’m feeling super duper obnoxious, I’ll call housekeeping and ask for extra soap and shampoo. Because, you know, I “ran out”.
I’ll only take the toiletries if they’re sorta fancy. Hopefully with some fancy packaging (“Lavender Hand Milled Soap in Recycled Natural Fiber Packaging” … made by some 14 year old in some Asian sweatshop I’m sure.) Call me a soap snob if you will. Well, cheap and snobby. That’s the best combination because you are always too cheap to achieve your snob goals.
I once also took a box of Kleenex. I had to pry it out of the built-in Kleenex box holder in the marble and wood countertop (don’t worry, I didn’t damage anything). I also once took a new roll of toilet paper. I really liked how they folded the end of the roll into a pointy tip and fastened it with a shiny gold sticker featuring the hotel’s crest.
I don’t take towels, robes, slippers, furnishings or fixtures though. That’s crossing the line. And you’re liable to be billed for it.
When I get home, I take all my winnings out of my bag and place them in neatly organized shoe boxes underneath my sink. Then I wash up with the Suave shampoo and Dove soap that I bought at the supermarket.
And why do I spring for the hotel room, but not the soap? Penny wise and pound foolish, my friend.
So I still have this giant accumulating stash of unused mini soaps, mini shampoos, and mini lotions. Just in case some Lilliputian houseguests ever need to shower. One million times.